No regrets!

Happiness!

Just a state of mind...........a passing phase.......for a lucky few, a recurring phase!

I feel a major part of it has to do with the kind of expectations you set for yourself. Higher the expectations, bigger the disappointment when things don't go your way.

As a three year old my biggest dream was that of becoming an ice-cream vendor. In those days there were no fancy ice-cream parlors, no "natural" ice creams, just a few vendors going from street to street looking for buyers. I would look out from my window and see the local ice cream vendor walking by with his little cart and think to myself that it had to be the best vocation anybody in their right mind could ever pursue. Just imagine!! You could sell your ice creams and earn some money..........and if you get tired you could just eat an ice cream and refresh yourself!! A win-win situation, I must say!!

At the grand age of 9, I heard that India had only one famous molecular biologist. I vowed I'll become the second!! Its a different thing that I did not have the slightest idea of what it was, but yes, it was an interesting name for a profession........the added allure being the lack of women in this field!! Studying in a college which did not recognize molecular biology as a discipline in science didn't help at all, of course!!

In my teens I decided I wanted to become an activist for the weak, the poor, the downtrodden......a few days of collecting funds on behalf of "Help Age India" and getting a badge subsequently made me feel very important, no doubt, but soon got overshadowed by other pressing events.

The Kargil war, for instance. My first ever "salary" being mailed off to aid the families of the martyrs of that war was definitely self-fulfilling...........but then, one couldn't make a living out of it!! A bit of good sense prevailed, I suppose!!!

Now, as I look back, I smile at my thoughts, almost laugh at the thought of what could have happened if I had indeed become an ice cream vendor.......................and wonder..........wonder if I made the right choices in life!

The answer may be a resounding "Yes" in some cases, but a definite "No" in some.........well, what can I say..... nobody is perfect..........and I am neither the first nor the last to admit that!!

But yes, the one thing that is uppermost in my mind today is ........that I have zero regrets..........I did it all my way........I made my own choices......I lived with them.....rather, I learnt to live with them.........I am happy..........and I am content.

Because that is what "living" entails..........that is what "life" is......it is not perfect!!! One can hardly live a "perfect life" in "an imperfect world"!! But yes, I can look back and say..........."I don't regret anything"........because it is true!

'Cos that is the way I've lived my life! .........With no regrets!

Parenting

Parents.

I remember distinctly what it was like to grow up in a family where the parents gave you the freedom to.......
...voice your opinions.......
....make your choices ......and then guide you as to what is right and what is not....
.....be your own person.

Well! To many of you this may sound to be a bit too idealistic.........but then hey! let's face it, it was ideal..... at least for me..... it was.......more in hindsight though!!!

Growing up for me was a very interesting time....if anything!!!

The fighting to keep a kitten rescued from a pool.............coming home crying just because I got called a name by the other kids.......singing loudly in the shower.....fighting for the TV remote.....rushing out to play just when homework was mentioned...........sometimes even rushing out just for the heck of it.....the tantrums.....things flying towards the wall.....doors banging...........introducing "best friends" whom I may have met just a few days ago......

.....the blind expectation that my parents would unquestioningly accept whatever it was that was the "Most Important Thing" for me at that time...........

wow!!! If I had a child like me, I wonder if I would have been able to handle "me" with the finesse my parents did!!!

Now, as I look at my kids, I wonder.........will I ever measure up? will I ever be the same kind of parent to them as my parents were to me? will I be good enough?

Every tantrum, every teardrop, every smile, every laugh, .............I keep looking back......what would my parents do if it was me.....keeps me from getting over-confident......makes me take the right step....always!!

Love you Ma & Pa.....I am who I am because of you.....

...and I know I could never be a failure as a parent..... because I always had you both for guidance....the Best Parents in the world!!